3584 CRITICISM & VEXATION
That particular morning, Baba and the companions
had left their cottage unusually early, at 3 A.M. Keki Desai had also
accompanied them. Baba's work that day centered on a few ashrams and camps
which had purposely been omitted so that they would be full of sadhus
on pilgrimage when Baba visited them. The sadhus were expected to assemble
there before the 2nd of April, in time for the lunar eclipse. Baidul,
whose duty was to lead Baba to these places, took him to one of the camps.
Not many sadhus had yet gathered there. Intending to come back later,
Baidul tried to persuade Baba to go to another area. But Baba, wishing
to stay, asked Baidul why he had adopted the method of hurrying through
the work as he had done in the Old Life? And he kept repeating this.
At a later hour, Baidul remarked to Pendu that Baba had teased and pestered
him since morning. Overhearing this, Baba asked Baidul whether this wasn't
criticizing him. Baidul replied that he was simply "informing" Pendu of how
Baba had lost his mood that morning. Baba asked Eruch if Baidul's statement
did not amount to criticism. Eruch's opinion was that, according to his way
of thinking, Baidul was merely telling Pendu a fact; it could not be called
criticism but a piece of information which conveyed Baba's mood that morning.
Eruch's reply annoyed Baba even more, and he lost his temper.
He stated that in criticizing him to Pendu, Baidul was at fault, but that was
not what vexed him. Afterwards, he felt thoroughly upset and his mood was spoiled
because he was disappointed that even at this stage of the New Life the companions
had not yet fully understood all the conditions of Plan Three.
Baba further stated that if the companions took Baidul's
remarks as merely a piece of information, why did they previously blame Ghani,
Adi, Nilu and Donkin for criticizing him? This situation was taken as a difference
of understanding, and as such, could not be tolerated because Baba wanted to
be completely free of his Old Life habits. At this phase, Baba detested such
behavior and attitudes, because they reminded him of the Old Life which he had
given up. He added that he might be at fault, and the companions might be right,
but where there was a difference of opinion there would always be a clash and
a cause for him to be displeased. And if he became excited, he would either
remain quiet about it, which would compromise his oath, or he would vent his
feelings of anger, which would not be in accordance with the New Life conditions. |